literature

Spontanious Human Combustion

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Literature Text

Spontaneous Human Combustion

A boy and girl are sat next to each other having an argument. The girl is trying to occupy herself by reading a magazine. The boy is continually pestering her

Boy: Oh please!

Girl: No

Boy: Pleeeeeease!

Girl: NO!!!

Boy: Awwww, cmon

Girl: NO NO NO

Boy: Why not?

Girl: Why would you want me to do it?

Boy: Cos its cool

Girl: I am not spontaneously combusting for you, and that’s final

Boy: Ill buy you a pack of bubble gum

Girl: The answers still no

Boy: Two packs?

Girl:   No

Boy: Three?

Girl: NO

Boy It’s for s school project

Girl: A school project?

Boy: Yeah

Girl: On spontaneous human combustion?

Boy: Yeah

Girl: That’s the worst lie ive ever heard

Boy: Aw, cmon, what the problem?
Girl: Problem? There isn’t a problem, I just don’t want to do it

Boy: If you do it…ill do it after

Girl: Why would you do it?

Boy: Why not?

Girl: And why would you doing it make a difference?

Boy: So you get to see me do it as well

Girl: And why would I want to see that?

Boy: I don’t know

Girl: Exactly

Boy: Im just gonna keep pestering you

Girl: And ill just keep saying no

Boy: How about we both do it at the same time?

Girl: How about you do it first, then I follow?

Boy: No

Girl: Why?

Boy: Cos then I wont be able to see you do it

Girl: So?

Boy: And that’s the whole point

Girl: Well im not doing it first

Boy: But I set the camera up especially

Girl: Oh, so, not only do you want me to spontaneously combust in front of you, you want to film me as well…excellent

Boy: Whats wrong with that?

Girl: I don’t want al your creepy little friends seeing me doing it

Boy: Please

Girl: I said id do it if you did it first
Boy: But it’s not me they wanna see

Girl: Who?

Boy: My friends

Girl: So your friends DO wanna see me do it? So it’s not for school after all?

Boy: ….no

Girl: So, ill do it if you do it as well

Boy: You first, then me

Girl: Or both together

Boy: I don’t wanna do it

Girl: OK FINE, LETS JUST BOTH SIT HERE NOT COMBUSTING!!!

They both sit still for a few seconds looking annoyed, occasionally shooting glances at each other

Boy: Ok…ill do it first…then you

Girl: No, ive changed my mind now; I don’t want to do it at all

Boy: WHAT???

Girl: I said I don’t wanna do it anymore

Boy: But you said….

Girl: You had your chance, and you blew it

Boy: don’t be such a spoilsport

Girl: Spoilsport? Me? Never!

Boy: but I thought you enjoyed spontaneously combusting

Girl: Well not anymore

Boy: Oh…well…great…thanks for the help. If you need anything from me, please don’t ask

Girl: Don’t worry, I wont

The End
a sketch based on a real life random argument me and my little sister had
© 2007 - 2024 fishyfins
Comments4
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Jess-Z's avatar
"Boy: Ill buy you a pack of bubble gum"
Rofl xDD