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Literature Text
Spontaneous Human Combustion
A boy and girl are sat next to each other having an argument. The girl is trying to occupy herself by reading a magazine. The boy is continually pestering her
Boy: Oh please!
Girl: No
Boy: Pleeeeeease!
Girl: NO!!!
Boy: Awwww, cmon
Girl: NO NO NO
Boy: Why not?
Girl: Why would you want me to do it?
Boy: Cos its cool
Girl: I am not spontaneously combusting for you, and that’s final
Boy: Ill buy you a pack of bubble gum
Girl: The answers still no
Boy: Two packs?
Girl: No
Boy: Three?
Girl: NO
Boy It’s for s school project
Girl: A school project?
Boy: Yeah
Girl: On spontaneous human combustion?
Boy: Yeah
Girl: That’s the worst lie ive ever heard
Boy: Aw, cmon, what the problem?
Girl: Problem? There isn’t a problem, I just don’t want to do it
Boy: If you do it…ill do it after
Girl: Why would you do it?
Boy: Why not?
Girl: And why would you doing it make a difference?
Boy: So you get to see me do it as well
Girl: And why would I want to see that?
Boy: I don’t know
Girl: Exactly
Boy: Im just gonna keep pestering you
Girl: And ill just keep saying no
Boy: How about we both do it at the same time?
Girl: How about you do it first, then I follow?
Boy: No
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cos then I wont be able to see you do it
Girl: So?
Boy: And that’s the whole point
Girl: Well im not doing it first
Boy: But I set the camera up especially
Girl: Oh, so, not only do you want me to spontaneously combust in front of you, you want to film me as well…excellent
Boy: Whats wrong with that?
Girl: I don’t want al your creepy little friends seeing me doing it
Boy: Please
Girl: I said id do it if you did it first
Boy: But it’s not me they wanna see
Girl: Who?
Boy: My friends
Girl: So your friends DO wanna see me do it? So it’s not for school after all?
Boy: ….no
Girl: So, ill do it if you do it as well
Boy: You first, then me
Girl: Or both together
Boy: I don’t wanna do it
Girl: OK FINE, LETS JUST BOTH SIT HERE NOT COMBUSTING!!!
They both sit still for a few seconds looking annoyed, occasionally shooting glances at each other
Boy: Ok…ill do it first…then you
Girl: No, ive changed my mind now; I don’t want to do it at all
Boy: WHAT???
Girl: I said I don’t wanna do it anymore
Boy: But you said….
Girl: You had your chance, and you blew it
Boy: don’t be such a spoilsport
Girl: Spoilsport? Me? Never!
Boy: but I thought you enjoyed spontaneously combusting
Girl: Well not anymore
Boy: Oh…well…great…thanks for the help. If you need anything from me, please don’t ask
Girl: Don’t worry, I wont
The End
A boy and girl are sat next to each other having an argument. The girl is trying to occupy herself by reading a magazine. The boy is continually pestering her
Boy: Oh please!
Girl: No
Boy: Pleeeeeease!
Girl: NO!!!
Boy: Awwww, cmon
Girl: NO NO NO
Boy: Why not?
Girl: Why would you want me to do it?
Boy: Cos its cool
Girl: I am not spontaneously combusting for you, and that’s final
Boy: Ill buy you a pack of bubble gum
Girl: The answers still no
Boy: Two packs?
Girl: No
Boy: Three?
Girl: NO
Boy It’s for s school project
Girl: A school project?
Boy: Yeah
Girl: On spontaneous human combustion?
Boy: Yeah
Girl: That’s the worst lie ive ever heard
Boy: Aw, cmon, what the problem?
Girl: Problem? There isn’t a problem, I just don’t want to do it
Boy: If you do it…ill do it after
Girl: Why would you do it?
Boy: Why not?
Girl: And why would you doing it make a difference?
Boy: So you get to see me do it as well
Girl: And why would I want to see that?
Boy: I don’t know
Girl: Exactly
Boy: Im just gonna keep pestering you
Girl: And ill just keep saying no
Boy: How about we both do it at the same time?
Girl: How about you do it first, then I follow?
Boy: No
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cos then I wont be able to see you do it
Girl: So?
Boy: And that’s the whole point
Girl: Well im not doing it first
Boy: But I set the camera up especially
Girl: Oh, so, not only do you want me to spontaneously combust in front of you, you want to film me as well…excellent
Boy: Whats wrong with that?
Girl: I don’t want al your creepy little friends seeing me doing it
Boy: Please
Girl: I said id do it if you did it first
Boy: But it’s not me they wanna see
Girl: Who?
Boy: My friends
Girl: So your friends DO wanna see me do it? So it’s not for school after all?
Boy: ….no
Girl: So, ill do it if you do it as well
Boy: You first, then me
Girl: Or both together
Boy: I don’t wanna do it
Girl: OK FINE, LETS JUST BOTH SIT HERE NOT COMBUSTING!!!
They both sit still for a few seconds looking annoyed, occasionally shooting glances at each other
Boy: Ok…ill do it first…then you
Girl: No, ive changed my mind now; I don’t want to do it at all
Boy: WHAT???
Girl: I said I don’t wanna do it anymore
Boy: But you said….
Girl: You had your chance, and you blew it
Boy: don’t be such a spoilsport
Girl: Spoilsport? Me? Never!
Boy: but I thought you enjoyed spontaneously combusting
Girl: Well not anymore
Boy: Oh…well…great…thanks for the help. If you need anything from me, please don’t ask
Girl: Don’t worry, I wont
The End
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a sketch based on a real life random argument me and my little sister had
© 2007 - 2024 fishyfins
Comments4
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"Boy: Ill buy you a pack of bubble gum"
Rofl xDD
Rofl xDD